Double Lives

Don't we all lead double lives?
Everyday we wake up in this world full of creatures out of your comfort zone, and the mind somehow dons the personality which suits out day to day life. There are mostly 2 kinds of personalities one portrays in his life. One which makes his life bearable and enjoyable (sometimes) and the one which is their true self. Somehow the moment we walk through the doors of adulthood, our mind develops a psyche which is somewhat different from whats yours, which makes the passing a little bit easier, which makes trotting through the complex labyrinths of life gentler. And before we know it, we all are living a life whose major portion consists of lies and deceptions.
So why do we do it?
Puritans would say that one doesnt has to mask one's personality to live peacefully in this world, but surely they never lead a life in the modern era. Each step you take, each move you make is constantly monitored and frowned upon. Someone who doesnt follow the norms of the "society" is deemed an outcast and a freak. To live successfully in this era one has to don the personality which is socially acceptable. The way we laugh at some of the most ludicrous jokes, the way we suck up to the powerful, the way we lead our lives is something out of the 'Bible for suicidals' and still it is the way we live. We feel vulnerable when we show out true colors to the social world and so we create a persona of conformation.
Thats why childhood is such a great place to be, where no one needs to lead a double life, where life is not a tangled web of intricacies but a simple winding road.
All said and done but at the end of the day one has to know which one is their true self, because one wouldnt want to loose oneself in this world, where people have to become a schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder in order to be deemed fit for survival.
What would I not give to lead my life being just me, but I guess thats only a theoritical possibility, because i woulnt want to be tagged lusus naturae.

A Day Unglorified

Have you ever had the feeling that all you do turns out wrong? The feeling when you are being crushed from the inside and still have to smile for those around you, so that they dont presume their outcome just like yours? The one when you feel like the whole point of your existence becomes oblique? When you are standing in a mall full of happy people and you feel that you are the only one who wants to say out loud- "Kill me, kill me now."? I hate feeling all those things and so do most of the humans. Usually this phase is followed by the inevitable and pitiful statements like- "Dont worry dude, shit happens." or "Koi nahi yaar, tension na le.".
There comes a point in every man's life when he stops trying to feel anything because its just too plain painful. His heart cries and the mind tries to console it by conjuring up some non-existent visions of hope. When you start thinking about the whole path your life has followed up until now and you realize that its not what you started out for. When the dreams of glorious future seem a distinct impossibility and the the light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be that of a fast train rushing towards you, what do you do?
You just let it be.