To new beginnings

The taste of a comeback is far more savory after pangs of absence. Well after managing to fly under the radar for almost one and half years I am back to this blog. A lot has happened in this lost time and lets just say that it feels good to be writing again.

For a long period of time during the past year I was filled with a sense of hopeless despair and had a hard time overcoming it. I was in a very dark place and like a phoenix I have managed to rise from my ashes stronger and wiser. Writing here feels like a lesson in relativity. It seems just yesterday that I had written my last entry and it feels as if all this time had passed rather quickly but while I was living through the bad phase it seemed the time had slowed its progress down. I wasn’t even able to complete my thoughts that I had penned down during this period, so as a result I have numerous incomplete entries sitting here on my computer.

Its funny how perceptions also change with time. After having managed to alienate all of my friends and dear ones I finally have them all back. Success and failure has that effect I guess. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that success attracts friends however true that statement might be it didn’t apply in my case. Its just that when you fail at something you start to question your moves. You go back to the start and analyze your actions, your reactions, your approach and even your motives. And in that time of cynical delusion you tend to read too much into the reactions you get. And being a master of subtext and underlying meanings doesn’t help you either. All it takes is just a little push down the wrong path and before you know it you end up spiraling down the path of loneliness.

I realize now that I am rambling on here, so I hope I get some leeway considering this is the first time I have written in 1.5 years. All I want to convey is simple. Failures are as much a part of life as successes. I really don’t believe it when people say that ‘somebody’ has always won everything in his life. Everybody loses at one point or the other. It’s the law of averages. You are bound to fail almost as many times as you succeed. So one must go through these phases to understand and acknowledge the success better. And most importantly keep up the appearances. As a matter of fact many of the people who’ll read this will find it very hard to believe that I had so much turmoil brewing just under the cloak. So take this as an advice: win or lose, keep up the appearances.

P.S: I would like to apologize deeply to all the friends I had alienated during the course of last year and I hope you forgive me.